The Wretched Stench of Uranus

I went searching for Chip the Spaceship, but I have not found him. I decided to go to Uranus. Ever since I was a kid, I've always wanted to go there. Perhaps, I was a little juvenile when I was a kid. Back to the point, Uranus was actually really dull. I figured someone would have taken advantage of a great namesake as Uranus, but alas, this wasn't the case. I could just imagine a Uranus themed amusement park. There was a foul odor that could be experienced anywhere on Uranus. Perhaps, that's why no one goes there... Anyways, it was a short trip in the Milky Way galaxy because I wanted to return to Earth to study for my next venture. I wish I went to Saturn's moon, Titan, instead. Oh, well. When I landed back on Earth, I had a message on my answering machine from Perfect Man, telling me that I'm someone's perfect match. I don't like to bring my phone with me when I travel because I feel it takes away from the experience. I felt a little hesitant to follow up with Perfect Man. I signed up for Perfect Man a few years ago, when I was looking for my mate. Ever since President Sala of the Democratic Republic of the American Territories signed the Space Bill, all I want to do is travel. I don't want to be tied down to anyone or anything (I don't discriminate), although the companionship would be nice. It has been awhile.

Talking Buses and Spaceships

I had myself stationed on Earth for a few weeks, traveling throughout San Francisco. My Honda Hydro Hovercraft broke down, so I had to take public transportation. While I was waiting at the bus stop, I heard someone talking to me. I looked to my side to find no one was there. The voice kept asking me if I was going to board the bus. I was confused, but as I looked up I noticed it was the bus that was questioning me. He introduced himself as Gus and he was looking forward to retirement. He didn't seem to have much patience because he kept insisting me to either get on the bus or stay on the bench. I was so fascinated. I just wanted to talk to him more. He told me I could just get on the bus to chat with him, so I did. Apparently, he had deadlines to meet. I got on the bus and made it clear this is a one time event since my hovercraft was in the shop. I told him I was an important astronaut (well, I'd like to think that.) He didn't seem impressed and asked me if I knew his friend, Chip. Chip the Spaceship as Gus called him. I was amazed I was even talking to a bus let alone be aware there was a spaceship that talks. With all the traveling I do, I'm surprised I haven't run into this Chip. Perhaps, I should do more traveling to find Chip. I wonder what he would say.

Return from Cadbury...

Hey you guys! Well, I've returned from the Cadbury galaxy and I've never had such a bad time. It was awful. It started out fine. I got to Xenox. I had plenty of batteries for my camera and oxygen tanks for my lungs. I took plenty of pictures. While I was on the safari, I met a girl named Sandy. She claimed she was looking for a friend of hers, Richard Madison. She gave me his photo and asked for me to look out for him. Apparently, Richard Madison has been lost for almost 20 years, if my memory serves me. I didn't have the heart to suggest to her that her friend is probably dead. She seemed so determined to find him for her close friend, James. It really put a damper on what could have been a memorable time on Xenox. I had tickets to see Jules Ponser. This was supposed to be a hot ticket event. As soon as I landed on Dozer, there was an announcement that Jules Ponser was admitted into an undisclosed rehab center in San Francisco (yeah, back on Earth) for an undisclosed drug problem. I wonder if it had something to do with the growing problem of the brain slugs. He did mention something on his blog. The fact that the show was canceled really disappointed me. After hearing the bad news, I decided just to return home. What a waste of time.

Blast Off!

Here's to another adventure! I'm going to the outer reach of the Cadbury galaxy. I hear the weather is great this time of year. I plan on spending a good chunk of time out there, hopping from planet to planet or maybe even moon to moon. I've been doing some research with the help of Spacecations, so I'm pretty sure I know where to start. Xenox is a moon orbiting the planet Aldrois. Xenox has a robust wildlife and is enriched with beautiful vegetation and plantlife. I plan on taking a safari-style tour throughout the terrains of Xenon. I will have to purchase an oxygen tank and gravity boots. There is no oxygen on Xenox, so I will have to be careful. It's a good thing I did my research. I read that legendary comic, Jules Posner, should be playing at the Chinese Orpheum on the planet Dozer. Dozer is a planet run by evolved black Labradors. Their president named their planet after himself, Dozer. He doesn't like to be referred to as Mr. President or King, just simply, Dozer. I could see how that could get confusing. It will be my first time communicating with a dog, so I'm excited. It's unfortunate dogs on Earth haven't evolved as quickly as the Labradors on Dozer, but there's still hope. I wonder if there's a brain slug problem in the outer reaches of the galaxy like I've seen in my travels. I'll update you guys when I can!

Svedka Voted #1 of 2033

Svedka Vodka Winner of 2033

I just came from the Vodka of the Year award show. It was held on Mars and was hosted by legendary actor Jason Biggs. I remember him playing as Jim in "American Pie" almost 40 years ago. He had a somewhat lukewarm career before starring in his Oscar winning performance, as an amputated war veteran in "Hospital Room 45." I always wanted him to star in a movie with Johnny Knoxville because that would have been a special movie. Anyways, the award show was great. I was so starstruck. I couldn't count how many celebrities I saw. I saw some artists from Zeusyla too. Intergalactic superstar from the Mounds galaxy, Keshyra, opened the award show. Jason Biggs seemed he had a great time. He sang, danced, and made us laugh. By the end of the show, Jason announced Svedka was the winner of 2033 as it was voted the #1 vodka in the galaxy. I grabbed a few posters and I'll upload them to you.

Like A Senior Citizen Concert on the Moon

I just returned from the Madonna "Like a Senior Citizen" concert. Madonna was originally supposed to play at Madison Cube Garden, but she pulled a muscle or two. Instead of canceling the concert, Madonna announced she would play on Earth's moon. I had to pay extra money to see her on the Moon, but it was quite an experience. Before the concert, I saw a bunch of mothers protesting with signs. They were protesting the abuse of brain slugs. I'm not a user, but I'm also not stupid. I know kids come to these concerts to get high, but I'm here to see Madonna! I don't care if she's 75 years old, she can still rock it! I did see a celebrity while I was there. I saw Karl Pilkington. He says the most odd and simple things. He can make an awkward situation even more awkward. I wonder if he's "special." I'm not sure what my next destination will be. I was thinking about traveling to the Skittles galaxy and see what's there. I've also always wanted to go to Mars and the Sun. We'll see.